Painful Memories
by Wicked Wonders
Summary: Character death, mentions of sex. Cecil recalls her life, her moments with Deidara, some of them better than others, from their first kiss to their last goodbye.


**Word Count: 3686**

**I'm baaaaaaack. I think I'm getting the first-time-writer-review/hit/visitor-craving. To be honest, I had no plot in mind when I started this, I figured it would come up as I went along. I didn't even know which pairing I would use. So ya, here's your story.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. Just the OC and plot.**

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I can still recall the day we first met...

_The streets of Iwa were filled with bustling villagers, preparing for the upcoming winter... Who knows how long it would be until the next shipment of produce and such came in? Better to stock up now._

_As I sat on the slightly snow covered bench, I could still see people leaving the shops. It was nearly dusk now, most of these people heading home to their warm beds. I stood from my place on the bench, and began walking back to my apartment. Pulling my jacket closer to me, I shivered and wished for a warm fireplace and some hot cocoa._

_I pulled my hat down lower, hoping to keep some heat in my body. This wasn't exactly the brightest of ideas, as a few moments later, I ended up bumping into someone. I guess my hat was a little too far down. I fell back onto my bottom, with an 'oof' sound._

_Groaning, I started to get up, when the person shoved a hand in my face, which I happily took, only to feel a weird, gooey wet sensation in my palm, causing me to shriek and fall back down. The person above me chuckled, much to my disliking. I stood up and brushed my pants free of snow, before turning to glare daggers at this person. It turns out said person was a boy, though it was hard to tell, if it hadn't been for the deep voice of his chuckle. He had long, golden hair that was tied up in a petite pony tail, with part of his long bangs covering his eye. He had a wool coat on, though no hat or gloves, which I thought was pretty incredulous. But he smiled warmly at me, compared to the cold weather around us._

"_What the hell was that?" I growled at him. This just increased the size of his smile; one could almost say it was a smirk now._

_The man, who appeared to be not much older than me, stuck out a hand, palm facing up. I stared at it in disbelief, as a small pink tongue pushed lazily out of his palm. My eyes widened so much I thought they would rip at the sides._

"_Again, I ask: what the hell was that?" I repeated._

_He sighed, before putting his hand back in his pocket. "It's my family's Kekkai Genkai, un. I use it to infuse my chakra into clay, which makes it explode on my command. But sometimes it has a mind of it's own, hm," he said the last part with an obnoxious smirk._

"_Um... oh, ok then..." I looked at him peculiarly, still quite shocked by his odd, yet small disfigurement, but also intrigued by his lisp. "Well... my name is Cecil, nice to... meet you."_

"_Deidara, likewise, un._

Then, the time he first asked me out...

"_Deidara, you're acting really strange. It's kind of freaking me out."_

"_S-shut up! I just... un..."_

"_That's not a reason... Holy shit, Deidara, are you really a girl?"_

"_NO!"_

"_Then what is it?"_

_I watched Deidara carefully, waiting for him to speak. We were at the Dango shop, our favorite hang out. He slowly chewed on one of the balls of dough, before swallowing it with a sigh. He glanced at me before standing up, announcing his leave for the bathroom. I groaned in frustration before sitting back in the booth to wait for him to return. After he got back, I nearly fell over laughing. He had apparently tried to reapply his guyliner, but it ended up scribbling across the right side of his face. He glared at me before sitting down with his arms crossed._

"_What happened?" I managed to giggle out._

"_I, uh... tripped."_

"_Why didn't you just wipe it off?"_

"_... It's waterproof, un," he mumbled quietly, but only causing me to laugh louder. After a while, my laughter died down, as I noticed people staring. As I started to eat my dango, I heard incoherent mumbling. I looked up at him, an eyebrow cocked, before he rubbed his temples and sat up straight._

"_I said... will you go out with me, hm... like, on a date?"_

_I giggled at him, before replying, "Aren't we on one now?"_

I flip through my mental scrapbook, remembering our first kiss...

_It was Christmas Eve... a friend of mine from the Leaf Village, Sakura, had invited me over to a Christmas get-together. I decided to go, only if I could bring Deidara. She said it was fine, so we set off to the Leaf... Is wasn't that far... uh... right? I don't know, I've only been there like... twice._

_Anyways, when we arrived at Konoha and found Sakura's house (after half an hour, I might add), the pinkette quickly flung the door open upon our arrival, apparently already knowing we were there._

"_So this is the infamous Deidara? Hm... Cecil has told me a lot about you. Can I see your hands?" she nearly screeched. I flinched, holding one of my ears, while Deidara stuck on of his hands out hastily. The little tongue poked out and wagged at her, before slipping back in._

_Sakura squeeled before pulling me to her side, and whispering into my ear, "Just wonder what he could do with those hands..." I swear my face turned 10 shades of red. Deidara raised an eyebrow out me, and I snapped back to reality, before shrugging nonchalantly at him. Sakura showed us to the snack bar before leaving to find her date._

_I looked around at all the guests, drinking my punch boredly. I wasn't much of a party girl, but this seemed more like a mini festival than a party... So I decided, hey, why not?_

_I looked to my side to find Deidara staring, dumbfounded, at another blonde girl. At first my instinct was to be jealous, and immediately my fists began to ball up. He must have noticed, because he grabbed my shoulder and whispered into my ear._

"_Doesn't she... look like a female me... un?" he asked, sounding as shocked as he looked. I calmed down some before taking a look at the girl, and realized he was right. She looked just like him, but with boobs!_

"_Wow... that's really... wow," I couldn't really find correct words. Blonde girl came over to use, noticing our questionable stares, and said, with an INCREDIBLY loud voice,_

"_Can I help you?"_

_She didn't really seem angry, but she sounded it._

"_U-uh, sorry...hm..." Deidara mumbled out, shrinking back against her wrath._

"_Sorry? Oh... sorry, Sakura tells me to try and be quieter... my name's Ino!" she said to me, before turning her gaze to Deidara. She stared at him with the same shocked look Deidar had given her, before shouting, "YOU COPYING LITTLE BASTARD!"_

_I giggled unctrollably, until she stopped yelling and looked at me. "We were just thinking the same thing... well, not those exact words..." I managed to speak out. She smiled back at me; wow, bipolar much?_

"_Eh, I guess you're right... hey, look up." She pointed to the arched doorway by the snack table, to a small green and red plant hanging carelessly, yet beautifully, under it. My face began to heat up, but before I knew it, Deidara had wrapped his arms around me and lifted me up onto the snack table._

"_D-Deidara... what the hell a-are you doing?" I squeaked, barely finishing my sentence as the blonde man lowered his head, to match his lips to mine. I quickly responded, moving my lips against his, before I heard a whistle, and Ino shouting, "Get a room!"_

When he pronounced his love for me, I was in utter shock, but in a good way.

_It was late June; Deidara had taken it upon himself to set up a picnic for us on the hillside outside the village. He had laid out a large blanket and some candles, along with a little straw basket placed in the center. To put it short, I was amazed and in awe. To think he would do such a thing... and just for me!_

_He must have noticed my expression, because he stated with a chuckle, "You like it, un? I made everything myself... I just hope you don't get food poisoning, hm."_

_I smiled at him and kissed his cheek. He carried me all the way there, bridal style, and one could assume it was a honeymoon. We took our seats on the blanket, right beside eachother, and began digging through the food. It was actually pretty good, considering how terrible he was a cook. After a while, he motioned to the sky, and suddenly the starry night lit up in so many different colors, some I don't even think I could name._

"_You made fireworks?" I asked him incredulously. It was absolutely stunning; and when I looked up at him, his features seemed to glow even brighter than before from the rainbow of colors the colorful explosions gave off._

"_Yeah... I wanted tonight to be special."_

"_What for?"_

"_Well... I figured, tonight would be the night I told you something important, un. I want to tell you before it's too late."_

_I stared at him, waiting for him to continue._

"_I love you, Cecil," I could literally feel my heart skip a beat, before speeding up to an astounding rate. I wrapped my arms around his neck and buried my face in his shoulder, muttering, "It's not like I didn't already know... Silly, I love you too."_

Sigh, those are the memories I miss... And then, it was our first time...

_My blonde lover pushed my up against the wall, kissing me fiercely, before shoving his tongue into my mouth, demanding dominance. I moaned lowly, pitifully fighting with his tongue in a small war, before being easily defeated._

_His bed was soft, pushed up against the wall neatly, with plush blankets and many pillows. He picked me up by my legs and sat me on his bed, before going lower with his kisses to attack my neck. I tugged at his golden locks, freeing them from the force of his hairband, as they fell down, cascading in a yellow waterfall._

"_Cecil... we don't have to do this, un... just say no, and I'll stop..." he moaned against my neck as I dug my nails into his back._

"_I know... b-but, I want to..."_

_He sighed, but I could feel him smile against my shoulder. He nodded in response before sliding my shirt up and off my body, revealing my partly._

"_T-there's just... one thing you need to know..." he looked up at me, slight worry seen in his crystal blue eyes. "I-I'm a virgin, so... please be gentle..."_

"_Of course, hm... It's my first time too." I smiled as he kissed me again, slowly enough to let me savor the moment._

And I was so happy, that day, when we found out I was carrying his child...

_I sat up quickly in our bed, nausea filling my stomach and throat. Dashing to the bathroom, I could hear Deidara's bewildered words, asking what was wrong, then his footsteps behind me. I nearly broke down the door before reaching the toilet, and spilling out what was left of my supper that night. Deidara rushed in and quickly came beside me, rubbing my back and holding my hair out of my face._

"_Are you ok, hm?" he asked. I was about to answer, but another wave of vomit interrupted me. I saw him frown from my peripheral vision, and after a few more spews, I sat against the wall breathing heavily._

"_I-I don't know... I just, had to throw up... What time is it?"_

_Deidara and I looked at the wall clock, which read 3:47 AM._

"_Well... let's get you back to bed, un. I'll bring you a trash can and some water, ok?" I smiled at him before raising my arms, asking to be carried like a child. He rolled his eyes at me but obliged, nonetheless. He took me to the bedroom and layed me down, then brought the water and trash can as he said._

_Several weeks went by like this before we decided it was time the doctor took a look at me. Deidara sat beside my hospital bed, clutching my hand tightly, expecting the worst. I too was worried, but mostly for his sake; he seemed so scared. As the doctor entered the room, a smile was planted on his face. I could see Deidara become confused, then angry and stood up abruptly. But before he could speak, the doctor said, plain and simple,_

"_Congratulations; you're 3 weeks pregnant."_

And after that, he proposed...

"_Cecil, I know it's only been a year since we started dating, hm... and we're only 19 and 20 years of age... but I think you should know that I'm ready for commitment, if you are, un."_

"_Deidara... do you mean...?"_

_He nodded, making me stand up from my position on our bed. He got down onto one knee and dug around in his pockets, becoming frustrated when he couldn't find what he was looking for. Finally, he pulled out a small box, which he held up and opened to reveal and stunning diamond ring._

_I was nearly breathless, "Deidara... how did you afford this?"_

_He looked shy for a moment, before looking me straight in the eye, "I saved it up from doing jobs out of the village... Assassinations, bombings, un... I know you don't like when I do that sort of stuff, but I did it for a good cause, you and our baby, hm,"_

_I sighed before smiling slightly, waiting for him to finish. "Cecil... will you marry me?"_

... Then, the day he left...

_"Why are you doing this, Deidara?" I all but screamed through tears, the salty liquid sliding down my cheeks. "Why would you choose now, of all times, to bring this up? Why would you want to do this at _all_? Think about our baby!" I was only six months pregnant..._

_"Cecil... please don't cry; I am thinking about the baby, un, about you! If I don't do this..." his voice drifted off into the silent wind of the night, leaving my ears ringing. "I'm not doing this out of choice, hm... If I don't, you... the baby... un..."_

_"Just... just stay with us a little longer! Ple-" suddenly, my vision was clouded, and finally it was engulfed in pitch darkness._

But then, there was the day... the day we found each other... the day we expired, together, as a family.

_The wind was fierce, tearing at our hair and clothing like claws, shredding our hope to pieces. I pushed through the thicket of branches and whatnot before collapsing against a tree for a short rest. I looked at the tiny bundle in my arms, my two year old son..._

_"Mommy, why are you stopped? Is mommy hurt?" Jade questioned innocently, shattering my heart bit by bit._

_We were on the run from the Rock Village; after the Tsuchikage found out about my being (previously) intimately related to an S-rank criminal, he wanted to bring us in for interrogation. Though, I knew what interrogation meant. Yes, they would question you, but brutally, and eventually kill you. I couldn't let my son perish for my mistakes. I couldn't let my only shred of happiness left in my life, to be ripped away._

_"Mommy is ok; she just needs to let her legs rest," I cooed calmly to him. He smiled, quite girlishly, and commenced to closing his eyes and laying against my chest._

_I managed to find a small cave to wait out the storm in, thankfully the villagers hadn't shown up yet; I presumed they must have gone back due to the weather. By the next morning, the surrounding forest was muggy and sloppy. The ground was mostly mud, some might even mistake it for quicksand. Several trees were toppled over, and this was just what I could see from the opening on our cavern._

_I continued walking after Jade woke up, about an hour after I did. We finally came across a small village, which was thankfully unoccupied by any ninja, after several hours of wary trekking. Jade and I stayed here for about a week, using up what money I had left. Finally, the forests began to clear up a little, enough that Jade and I could get through with minimal problems. I was able to purchase some blankets, which I wrapped around Jade to keep him warm, then held him close to my chest. Eventually I could see a clearing, just a little ways away, and began walking faster, in hopes of a more comfortable surface to camp out on tonight. As I came nearer, the sounds of clashing metal and some profanities could be heard. I bundled Jade up more to shield his virgin ears, before continuing on._

_Upon entering the clearing, the sight I was greeted by disturbed me incredibly. One on side of the field, a dark haired man with black markings down the side of his body stood, wielding a blood-covered blade. His injuries weren't extreme, but nor were they small. When I looked over to my right, I saw a familiar blonde, standing quite close to my position I might add. His back was to me, but I could already recognize the golden pony tail and that beautiful voice..._

_"Deidara!"_

_He had begun doing hand signs, and I suddenly found an urge within myself to run to him. Approaching him, I nearly tackled him to the ground, but instead forcefully wrapped my free arm around him. My tears began flowing freely into his black cloak. Jade cried out, and suddenly, Deidara's body began to puff out and inflate. His hand signs had stopped now, and he turned to stare at me, wide eyed. All too soon, I realized was what happening... he had told me about this jutsu before. I grabbed his shoulder tightly before reaching up to place my lips on his, in our last kiss, my last attempt to be with him again._

_"I love you... look for me in heaven."_

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**OKIDOKI! Finished this in two days. :D Would have been 1 day, but I started it late and had to get off. :/ So blame curfew for your late one-shot. I just had to get this out of the way before I finished FoaTG (for some reason that seems like a profanity acronym to me...). Please check it out if you haven't already, maybe compare it to my one-shot? I don't know if I'm better at one-shots or stories, but I know I like writing one-shots and two-shots a little more.**

**Also, I'd like to point out two things:**

**1) this is my OC (Cecil) telling her story after she died. I know it's kind of odd, but I couldn't have her tell about her life when she's alive, if she died in the story. I don't know if that made sense, but if not, just pretend it did and continue on xD**

**2) Since the English episode of Deidara's fight with Sasuke isn't out yet, and YouTube is being a complete TARD (no offence, I have nothing against mentally or physically handicapped), I haven't been able to see how exactly Deidara blew up in anime. I could look at the manga, but I prefer anime over manga, so ya ^_^ I know, I'm a loser :P**

**THANKS! Review? :D**


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